Sneaky peek

This is a sneaky peek at the beautiful bunting which my mum has made for the wedding. I think it's going to look completely lovely. I'm so pleased with it!

I have soooooo much to do, my head is buzzing and I'm finding it hard to get to sleep at night. Then in school at about 2pm I feel my eyelids drooping!

I need to:
- send my dress off to be cleaned
- finish wedding invitations
- find out addresses
- find bridesmaid dresses
- find flower girl dresses
- arrange bar

and about a million other things - but those are the main ones at the minute.

I LOVE planning and organising but it's getting to be a bit 24/7! Not loving that so much.

1.

I have a wonderful daddy, called Rob

All my life, he has said to me 'you can always have a cuddle with your daddy'

I used to use this to my great advantage, when it was time to go to bed.

When I hurted myself, Daddy's 'healing hand' would softly stroke my hurty place and make it feel better.

My daddy will always be my daddy.

But I am nearly all growed up now.

I am not a little girl.

I make my own decisions. I sort things out myself. If I mess up, or make a mistake, I need to fix it. If I need to go to the doctor, I phone them up myself (I hate this.) If I forget something, it's my problem. If I hurt myself, I swear (in my head. this isn't good, but I am being honest.) and stamp and Daddy's healing hand isn't there to make it better.

I am not a little girl.

I don't live at home any more. I can't always have a cuddle with my daddy. He doesn't fix all my hurts.

Soon I will be a wife and though I am happy, I am sad because I feel like I will be even more not a little girl.

I will love my daddy forever, he will always be my daddy, but although it is scary and sad, it is good and right that as I grow up, he is not my world any more.


I have another daddy.
He is called Father.
God.
Beginning.
End.
Creator.
Saviour.

I have been lying in bed, crying, I can't remember why I started but soon it was because some things are not going how I planned and hoped.

I am not a little girl. I fix my own problems

But.

My daddy in heaven is so big




that I will always be a little girl.